


The French Mistake

by la-fay-ette (vocalhedgehogs)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Washette - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-01 21:30:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5221541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vocalhedgehogs/pseuds/la-fay-ette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When General Washington walks in on Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens making out, Hamilton convinces him that it is a French custom for close friends to greet each other with a kiss on the mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this fic from a post by burrning-question on tumblr. [The Blog](http://burrning-question.tumblr.com)  
> [The Post](http://aaronburrs.tumblr.com/post/132708630132/Washington-kisses-lafayette-on-the-lips-in)

               John Laurens was useless when it came to being on the verge of being convicted and hanged for sodomy. When General Washington walked in on him and Alexander Hamilton committing that “capital offense”, he simply stood there with his mouth open, much like the General himself. Of course, while these two men were left thoughtless, the gears in Hamilton’s mind were already turning.

               “Greetings, General! What can I do for you?” he asked, with perhaps too large of a smile, but still as quickly and efficiently as if he had plucked the brain power that Washington and Laurens were currently wasting right from their very brains.

               When Washington did nothing, Hamilton continued. “Oh, you must be confused about what you just saw. I forget sometimes that you are not accustomed to French, well, customs.” He laughed, maybe for effect, probably because both his and Laurens’s lives depended on his ability to lie and lie well in that instant. “You see, the formal French greeting between two men of such closeness as Laurens and myself is a chaste kiss on the lips. It is not used very often here in the colonies for, I assume, two reasons. One: many of the officers who have come from France have not had enough time here to form bonds strong enough to warrant the use of this greeting; as I said, it is used only with the best of friends. Two: in America, affection is not used between men so much as it is in France.” As he waited for Washington’s response, Hamilton tried to act as naturally as possible.

               A few moments later, Washington closed his mouth and visibly regained his composure. “Oh well if that’s all it was.” He said, smiling quite awkwardly as he turned to leave.

               “You needed me, sir?” Hamilton called after him.

               “No, no that’s alright. I just thought that I might have left my spectacles in here after my last time checking up on your work, but I see now that I haven’t. Good day, Hamilton.” He nodded in his direction and turned to the left a bit. “Laurens.” He nodded again and promptly left.

               As soon as there was nothing to be heard of the General, Hamilton and Laurens deeply sighed. The encounter had, apparently, exhausted the boys, as they both dropped onto the cot behind them.

               “Hamilton, you’re a genius.” Laurens praised, although he still sounded out of breath. He seemed to have been holding it during the entire encounter, as if a single whisper would have Washington screaming for nooses to be strung up in a nearby tree.

               “Thanks, that was a close one, huh?” he asked, also out of breath from speaking so much so quickly. He cracked a smile at his Laurens.

               “Stop smiling!” Laurens gave him a small shove. “We’re not out of the woods yet. What are we going to do if he realizes that we’ve both been in the tent all day, and that there was no need for such a greeting?”

               “I’ve already got that all figured out.” Hamilton said proudly. “If he asks, I’m going to tell him that you asked me to teach you about French customs and were confused when I told you about the different forms of greetings. That also gets rid of the possibility of him wondering why we never do it in public, it is because we don’t do it ever, I was just giving an example as a one-time event.” He put his hands on the edge of the cot and leaned back.

               “Well I certainly hope that wasn’t a one-time event.” Laurens smirked as he leaned over Hamilton and kissed him, despite all of the very real dangers that they had just witnessed.

               “ _Bonjour.”_ Hamilton said when Laurens pulled away, grinning.

~~~

               The next day, just when Hamilton and Laurens were beginning to relax around the General, something very out of the ordinary happened that rendered even Alexander Hamilton speechless.

               The Marquis de Lafayette had just returned from a week-long mission to recruit soldiers in neighboring towns and was told by one of Washington’s aides-de-camp that the General wanted to see him immediately to discuss battle plans in his tent. Laurens and Hamilton knew the goals of the meeting, which was why they had come armed with plenty of writing supplies to take notes for Washington to go over later. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

               “ _Bonjour, mon amis!_ I have returned from my travels with great-“. The tale of Lafayette’s apparent triumph was cut short by General George Washington kissing him straight on the mouth.

               Everyone in the tent was shocked, to say the least. Laurens turned beet-red, some of the major-generals gasped loudly, Lafayette simply stood there in shock.

               “Hamilton, did I do something wrong? Lafayette, you’re aware of this greeting, aren’t you? I just wanted to make you feel more at home by using some of your French greetings! Have I overestimated our friendship, are we not close enough for that yet?” the General seemed extremely flustered, but who wouldn’t, after doing something that most people in the room would consider a capital offense?

               “Yes… _Non… Mon dieu…”_ Lafayette said dazily before slumping into Washington’s arms, having fainted.

               “Hamilton?!” the General looked around the tent angrily.

               Hamilton rushed to Washington’s side and helped him lower the marquis to the ground before saying softly, “Sir, that greeting is from a very specific part of France… I didn’t think it necessary to go into more detail yesterday, but Laurens was curious about different French customs, so I was showing him greetings from different parts of the country. I hope that both you and the marquis will accept my sincerest apology.” He certainly hadn’t been prepared with a lie for that outcome, but was able to think of one in record time to save both his and the General’s reputations.

               “General Washington, and I say this with the utmost respect, I think that you meant to give the marquis a kiss on the _cheek,_ not on the _lips_.” One of the major-generals interjected, trying to peer over their shoulders at the marquis.

               “Yes, that’s what it must have been.” The General chuckled. “A simple misunderstanding of foreign customs. I trust that all of you will accept my apology for anything… _offensive_ that you may have witnessed.”

               Everyone in the tent either nodded or found some way to express their agreement. The meeting was relatively awkward until the marquis woke up from where he was still lying in the doorway and the General apologized to him multiple times.

               “It’s alright, sir. I have heard of the greeting that Hamilton was referencing, and we are indeed close enough to use it if we ever find ourselves to be in that part of my _patrie._ I thank you for trying to make me feel at home, but a kiss on the cheek is fine when we’re in public.” The blushing Lafayette laughed at his own joke, though Washington caught the hidden meaning, as did Hamilton and Laurens.

               The rest of the meeting went off without a hitch, and actually turned out to be quite progressive. When the attendees were dismissed, Hamilton half-expected to be asked to stay behind so that Washington could scold him, but he and Laurens were permitted to go back to their tent without any incidents. Laurens thought it was just because it was an awkward subject, but Hamilton figured that the General was secretly happy at the events of the day’s meeting, and he expressed as much to Laurens when they were safely in the privacy of their own dark tent.

               “I’m telling you Laurens,” Hamilton said as he pulled a nightshirt over his head, “the General was glad that he kissed Lafayette. Now that the subject has been brought up, perhaps they can talk more about it when they are alone. Didn’t you hear Lafayette’s ‘joke’?”

               “Yes, I did hear Lafayette’s _joke_ , Hamilton. Everyone did. It was just a joke, nothing is going to happen between him and General Washington.” Laurens argued from where he was lying in bed.

               “I don’t know, Laurens, I don’t think we’ll be the only ones sharing a bed tonight.” Hamilton said with a smile and a wink, joining his friend under the covers.

               Laurens wrapped an arm around the other man. “Whatever you say, dear."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After recovering from his fainting spell, the Marquis de Lafayette visits General George Washington in his tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I wasn't going to write more of this, but people seemed to like it and a few people asked me to add onto it, so I thought about it and this just sort of happened.

              The night of the Incident, as Washington’s drunken brain was now referring to it, he was sitting alone at the round table in his rather spacious tent, which was filled with warm light from several candles, drinking away an expensive bottle of wine sent to him by an old family friend for his birthday several months ago. He usually refrained from drinking, especially in a professional military setting, but he needed to forget about what happened, if only for a little while.

               If nothing else unfortunate happened, the only downside to the vast quantity of alcohol suddenly entering his body was that his subconscious could no longer push back the thoughts of his feelings for Lafayette. He definitely had some sort of romantic attraction to Lafayette, but he didn’t know if he actually wanted anything to happen. He was the Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army after all, he barely had any time as it was, he certainly didn’t have time for any romantic affairs. Even if he did somehow find time for something of the sort, what would happen if they were caught? He couldn’t imagine any of the officers currently under his command possibly replacing him. They were all fine men, but none of them had the discipline or loyalty to run the entire army, at least not yet. And how did he even know that Lafayette would feel the same way? It could turn out to be very dangerous for him if he pulled another stunt like that and the marquis didn’t reciprocate.

               Another thing that the alcohol revealed to him was that what had had happened today hadn’t been just a simple mistake. He had known that Hamilton wasn’t showing Laurens anything but his affection, he might have only known deep down, but he knew nonetheless. If you looked at all of the evidence that had presented itself during their months at Valley Forge, it was really quite obvious what was happening between the two aides-de-camp. He had subconsciously chosen to ignore it, so that he wouldn’t be robbed of two extremely valuable men that had come to be very dear to him. He had also subconsciously decided to accept the fact that a kiss on the lips was a greeting between close friends in France so that he could kiss Lafayette.

               The General was still lost in drunken thought when the Marquis de Lafayette brushed aside one of the tent flaps and walked straight in without announcing himself or asking permission beforehand.

               Washington looked up at his unexpected guest and turned bright red. “Lafayette! What are you doing here? It’s very late, you know.” He didn’t, in fact, have any idea what time it was, but he assumed that he had been here quite a while, judging by the sizeable dent he had put in the bottle of wine.

               “I’ve come to discuss several pressing matters with you, sir.” The marquis said. His thick French accent and use of the word ‘sir’ sending shivers down Washington’s spine.

               “Don’t you think whatever it is can wait until tomorrow? As you can see, I’m not exactly in the best state of mind to be discussing anything of importance right now.”

               “Actually, sir,” there’s that ‘sir’ again, “these issues are rather delicate, and discussion of them absolutely _must_ take place at night, when no one is around to eavesdrop or spy on us. And maybe it’s better if you won’t remember any of it tomorrow. If things go wrong, it’ll be as if nothing ever happened, but if things go right, I can always _remind you_.” He smirked when he said the last part, as if thinking back to some private joke that only he knew.

               “Well, if you insist on staying at least have a drink.” Washington said wearily, gesturing to an empty chair and the case where the glasses and other silverware were kept for when he had to meet with officers over dinner.     

               Without saying anything, Lafayette set himself delicately onto the chair, turned it slightly so that it faced Washington's on a diagonal, and filled a glass with wine with an almost mechanical precision, it was as if every move he made had been predetermined hours before.

               When the marquis was settled, or at least as comfortable as it seemed he was going to get for now, Washington spoke. “So what exactly did you wish to speak to me about, marquis?”

               “Well, about before-“

               “Lafayette, it was a simple mis-“ the General was silenced by the Marquis’ finger pressing gently against his lips.

               “ _I liked it.”_ The Frenchman said quietly, but with great emotion, not showing any sign of wanting to break contact with Washington.

               “O-oh.” He didn’t, couldn’t think about anything right now, let alone string enough words together to form a coherent sentence.

               “It wasn’t a simple mistake,” Lafayette continued, beginning to trace the tip of his finger around Washington’s mouth. “You know Hamilton almost as well as I do, such a great man as you couldn’t possibly be blind to what’s going on between him and Laurens.”

               Breaking the hushed, calm silence that Lafayette had created, Washington said, “Well so what if it wasn’t a mistake, what if I _did_ mean to kiss you? What are you going to do about it?”

              "Well, _sir,"_ the Marquis slid forward on his chair so that his thigh was between Washington's, "I was hoping that you would allow me," his voice was growing slower and quieter by the word, "to do this." And with that he closed the final gap between Washington and himself. As he pressed their lips together, gently at first, and then more firmly, he moved his hand around to the back of the General's neck. After several seconds, they pulled away and their eyes met for a moment, and during this moment they had a conversation more fulfilling than any they had had with words since they'd met.

              Breaking the calm, Lafayette kissed the older man more urgently than he had before. Somewhere during this event, the Marquis managed to seat himself on the General's lap, so that he was casually straddling a chair which just happened to be the chair that the Commander-in-Chief of the Continental Army was using. But no matter, neither party seemed to be complaining, and continued as if nothing had happened.

              Once the metaphorical ice was broken, Washington took charge. He took one hand and wound it in Lafayette's hair and the other he used to get to work on unbuttoning the Frenchman's vest. When, after at least five minutes, he still hadn't made any progress, he felt the other man smile against his lips.

              "They praise him in all of the colonies for being the best man that there is, but the great General George Washington can't even undo a simple button with one hand!" Lafayette laughed. His face was flushed and strands of hair were sticking messily out of his ponytail, and the bright-eyes and wide grin on his face were among the most beautiful things that Washington had ever seen.

              "Well, if it's so easy, why don't you try it?" Washington taunted, grinning like he hadn't in months.

              Reaching down between them with his left hand, Lafayette seamlessly undid the button on his pants.

              "What a showoff." Washington's grin widened, not really reacting to the severity of what had happened just yet.

              "Well what are you going to do about that, _sir_?" the grin had left Lafayette's face, replaced with his lips being parted slightly and a lustful look in his eyes.

              That was when Washington realized what was happening. They quickly resumed their previous activities, and within minutes moved to the General's bed.

              Anyone who happened to pass by General George Washington's tent that night most certainly would have heard deep moaning and repetitions of the word _sir,_ which turned into heavy breathing and gasping for air, which eventually turned into silence and Washington and his guest fell asleep in each other's arms.

~~~

              "Laurens, look! Quickly!" Hamilton nudged him with his elbow as they ate the next morning.

              "Ow! Alexander be careful, you're going to spill the food! And your elbows are pointy."

              "That doesn't matter right now, I was right, look!" Hamilton gestured discreetly toward the General's tent, where he was holding one of the flaps open for the Marquis de Lafayette to exit. As he crossed under Washington's arm, their eyes met and they shared a smile which was a little too... _friendly_ to be used between friends.

              "That doesn't mean anything, you know as well as anyone that Washington isn't against having early-morning meetings when the matter to be discussed is pressing enough."

              "Sure, Laurens, but really _look._ Lafayette's hair is sticking out all over the place, like he didn't use a brush to put it up this morning, and both of their jackets are wrinkled, as if they spent the night on the floor of the General's tent!"

              Laurens was ready to admit, the evidence was beginning to look pretty damning, but he hated to encourage his boyfriend, he was nosy enough as it was. "Fine, well if you're so sure that Lafayette spent the night with the commander last night, why don't you just ask him. Here he comes."

              Lafayette was indeed walking towards them. "Good morning, my friends, my wonderful friends!" Lafayette seemed happier than usual.

              "What is it, Lafayette?" Laurens asked with a somewhat uptight tone. "Have you received good word from the General? It must be important since he requested to meet with you so early in the morning."

              "Actually, my dear Laurens," Lafayette continued walking toward where the food was being served, "our meeting began last night, but I did receive some very good news." he looked over his shoulder and gave them a wink.

              "I told you so." Hamilton said. Laurens felt like it was going to be a long day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew good ole George was a lil kinky? Not me, that's for sure. Thanks for reading this Sin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends thank you for reading my, as the word doc is named on my laptop, Smol Lams Fic. I'm currently writing longer and Angstier Lams fics, so those will probably be up soon if you liked this one. :)   
> [My Blog](http://la-fay-ette.tumblr.com)


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